The Truth About IHOPKC

How Did I Get Out of That Funk? What Happened Next?

Well, in the midst of my despair, I was approached by Diane Bickle. She told me that she was worried about me and she took time off with Mike to meet with me. When we met, she shared how she has been praying for me (she spends so much time praying for each of her employees). She felt, through prayer, that I was not doing well (I am tempted to cry as I am writing this).

Both Mike and Diane were so kind and tender, and I felt so much peace and safety to open up to them. The broken version of me was screaming inside of me saying “Oh no! Mike and Diane know all of my junk and the darkest places in my soul,” but part of me didn’t care because I knew what I was experiencing was unconditional love.

Mike repeated over and over that no matter what happens or no matter what I do, they and IHOPKC are there to support and stand by me. I asked him: “Are you sure you don’t want to distance yourself from me? After all, I am controversial. I was a pastor at IHOPKC, and now I am doubting God.”

Mike answered, “Absolutely not! We are here for you and we will stand by you, and we love you.” He hugged me and I felt the Father’s heart in a measure I just cannot explain. Over the following several weeks, Diane took time off and met with me on regular basis. she gave me the space I needed to share the anger that I felt towards God, IHOPKC and individuals.

Even though regaining my faith and hope in Jesus has been a slow process, that day was a turning point in my life. If it wasn’t for their love and care, I truly think I would have been in a much deeper and darker place.

Now That I Can Look Back With a Better Perspective on My Six-Plus Years at IHOPKC, This Has Been My Experience:

• My six-month internship was one of the most defining seasons in my life.
  So much religiosity was broken off of me, I learned how to linger and slow down in the presence of God, and I developed a true love for the Bible during that time. I don’t remember a lot of the teachings I have received, especially concerning the end times, but that’s not the point. The main point is I learned to love God, myself and others much more.
• The integrity of the leaders at IHOPKC is way and beyond what is normal, even within the church.
  I have seen so much “behind the scenes” giving, sacrifice, and humility by the leaders of IHOPKC for those in need. Given that I was the manager of Glad Heart Realty for a season and a young adults pastor at the church for another season, I have seen so much abnormal unconditional love and sacrifice. One small example was seeing the faithfulness of Diane going to Hope City, an inner-city ministry, on a regular basis to help feed the poor for four-plus hours after eight-plus-hour work days.
• I have always had an approachable leader who is willing to take time and care for me.
  Before I was part of Glad Heart or a young adults pastor and even before I knew the Bickles, I always knew a couple of leaders or at least full-time staff members who were there for me. I am making this point because one of the leading causes I have seen for people being offended with a church or ministry is feeling that the “main” leaders are hard to reach. I am sure IHOPKC, like many other ministries, can grow to do better, but it is impossible for a ministry with thousand of attendees to have the main five to 10 leaders be available to meet with everyone. After all, there are only 24 hours in a day.
• I have seen the leaders of IHOPKC refuse to repay evil with evil. Instead, they have cared for the hearts of their accusers.
  One example of this is when a current staff member (who has since left staff on his own volition) posted a slanderous comment about IHOPKC on Facebook. I commented on the post telling him that it was unprofessional to speak negatively about his employer (it is common rule, and most secular employers would fire an employee who spoke negatively about a company while still being employed). However, I was confronted the following day by an IHOPKC leader who asked me to remove the post, and was disappointed that I publicly confronted this individual. The leader told me that the individual had been going through a lot and that several leaders were personally helping him get emotionally and spiritually well. They weren’t concerned about preserving their reputation. They only cared about this individual’s heart and well-being.
• I was always welcomed to share my criticism and the negative experiences I had, and they were always received with humility.
  I have shared these experiences with several leaders, including John Chisholm and Brandon Hammonds, and they were always taken seriously and with love.
• I was encouraged and blessed when I decided to move away.
  I was also encouraged and blessed when I decided to step-off full-time staff. I have seen leaders repeatedly encouraging people to do what they feel called to do, and it has been spoken from the pulpit numerous times that it’s between each individual and God to decide whether IHOPKC is where they are called to be. I have never seen someone pressured or manipulated into staying. This is something that is very rare to find even in godly churches and ministries.

Now, Am I Saying That IHOPKC Does Everything Right? Absolutely Not!

I have been involved in several churches and ministries including Youth With a Mission (YWAM), Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, Young Life and five-plus churches in Cairo, Virginia and Kansas City. I am currently in L.A. and I have been visiting a different church every week including Hillsong L.A., Reality L.A., Mosaic and City Church (Judah Smith), and all of these ministries have one thing in common: They have weaknesses and flaws that are easy to detect.