Should Children Be Spanked?
Prof. Robert Larzelere of Oklahoma State University, who studied this subject for decades, states: “Backup spanking done calmly and in a consistent manner with defiant 2- to 6-year-olds, backing up milder forms of discipline like timeouts, is shown to be effective at changing behavior.”
Marjorie Gunnoe at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, states from her research that “children spanked in a calm, consistent manner have better outcomes than children who have never been spanked.”
Former NBA superstar, Charles Barkley, joked recently, “If corporal punishment is a crime, then every black parent in the South is going to be put in jail!”
Recently Dennis Miller, radio host and Saturday Night Live alumni, suggested on nationwide TV spanking as a solution for out-of-control youth. Referring to two Colorado teenage girls caught trying to defect to ISIS, he stated, “We need to spank again! In my day rebelling was going from the Beatles to the Stones. Now this. I’d put them over my knee and spank ’em!”
Here’s some practical guidance to help all of us keep things in perspective regarding loving correction of our children. May the acrostic for CORRECTION serve you well.
C. CLARITY: Loving correction always begins by clearly defining and communicating reasonable boundaries before they are enforced.
O. OBEDIENCE: Spankings can occur if “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Eph. 6:1, NIV) is violated.
R. RIGHT ATTITUDES: We are to “serve the Lord with gladness” (Ps.100:2, ESV), so persistent whining and complaining has to be addressed.
R. RESTORATION: Embracing and reassuring a child afterward enables us to avoid leaving them feeling guilty, rejected or unwanted.
E. EXPLANATION: Taking time to explain the offense as well as enabling the parent to calm down (if needed) makes this essential.
C. CONSISTENCY: Loving correction requires an investment and persevering commitment …”he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (Prov.13:24, ESV).
T. THOROUGHNESS: Shaping the will without breaking the spirit requires being authoritative not authoritarian so the child experiences some pain versus simple “love pats.” “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Prov. 19:,18 KJV). “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant…” (Heb. 12:11).
I. IMMEDIATELY: With exceptions, loving correction should be given in the moment not “when daddy comes home” etc. “Because sentence against an evil deed is not executed speedily, the heart of the sons of men is fully set to do evil” (Eccl. 8:11, ESV).
O. OUT-OF-SIGHT: Discipline is administered in private so as not to humiliate or embarrass a child.
N. NEUTRAL OBJECT: Scripture states a “rod (a small, flexible branch) of correction” not a hairbrush, belt or the nearest object. Hands should be instruments expressing affection and tenderness; we don’t want children flinching or retreating when a hand is raised.
A closing question: “Where is the rod administered?”
God in his wisdom prepared a strategic place on the anatomy of our toddlers and children which has ample cushiony, fatty tissue and sensitive nerve endings to respond to Spirit-led stimulation. This “seat of learning” is located at the base of the back, above the thighs, located directly on the bottom of every child. In 42 years of ministry, I’ve discovered that all children come equipped with one! “On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense” (Prov. 10:13, ESV).
